As someone who has lived their entire life feeling ‘not enough’, the knowledge in this blog is not new. However, timing is everything in terms of being in a head space and place in life to be sufficently open and capable for integrating and transforming awareness and understanding into true wisdom, action and change. Whether I’m actually able to get to being ‘enough’ with and for myself remains to be seen. What I do know for sure is the ‘audit’ of my values and choices about what and who is important in my life has been occurring for some time, and slowly but surely, there is an internal shift towards a greater sense of peace, contentment, and liberation with me and who I am. Could this be it? Is this what feeling ‘enough’ and ‘lovable’ feels like? Is this what being the ‘real’ me feels like? Yes, I believe it is.
Start with an audit of your life… and then get ready to be courageous. Because all of this stuff is easy to understand with our brains… and a whole other story to face and change. Why? Changing parts of our identity, especially a core belief (that we’re unlovable), can be challenging because of the neural pathways we’ve built and the foundations of our life (jobs, religion & relationships) have been constructed upon our identity in order to reinforce it. We’ll even fight wars and kill others to preserve our beliefs.
So, if we want to feel like we’re enough we have to make choices that reflect that. In each moment where you’re feeling stuck and/or wondering what you should do, ask yourself:
“If I was enough, would I tolerate this situation? If I was enough, would this matter? If I was enough, what would I do in this moment?”
…to truly understand, …to truly feel, to awaken to the truth… that the loneliness you fear, the paralyzing concern that if people met the real you, you won’t be loved… is happening right before you’re eyes. Because if you don’t share your deepest truths with the world, you’re sending the message to yourself that you’re not lovable. The thing you fear most you’re already living in… so it can’t get worse. It can only get better. And the people who are meant to love you for the real you, will. That’s a fact. But they can’t find you till you find you.