4 Lessons on Surviving and Thriving When Times Are Tough

“Every day may not be good, but there’s something good in every day.” ~Unknown

Generally I would categorize myself as an optimist, seeing and appreciating the silver linings in  difficult circumstances and experiences.  Even in the current situation of my Mother dying of terminal brain cancer, I am so grateful for having the time, as brief as it will be, to be with her, to care and give to her, to simply hold her hand and love her deeply as she has for me all my life.

Yet I admit I am struggling with it all.  It’s not just the loss of my mother nor watching her suffer physically and emotionally with her own pending end of life,  as difficult and sad as this is.  I feel a strong calm as I simply go with what is, doing what I have to do, feeling what I feel and allowing her to do the same.  At the same time I can feel an anger, a bitterness, within me that I’m unable to pinpoint the source.  Is it anger at the cancer that is taking away my mother?  Somewhat perhaps, but no, this is not it.  Because in truth I am focused on feeling so blessed for the life she provided me, the love she showed me and the wonderful times we’ve shared together since she was diagnosed with melanoma in 2007.    So what is this anger I feel about? Insight came from the  4 Lessons on Surviving and Thriving When Times Are Tough.

1. Let go – yup got it no problem…”Control is an illusion. Letting go of control is liberation.”

√  2. Stop asking, “Why me?” – got it too, is what it is. “Bad things happen to good people and life is not fair. ” It’s not what happens but how we choose to cope with the adversity thrown at us – to love and to be loved those closest to us, to say and do everything I need and can do with no regrets.

4. Practice gratitude – Absolutely! Each and every moment of every day. 

? 3. Ask for support – No I’m not bad at counting.  I purposely left this one to the end because it’s the one I struggle with and my source of anger.

Asking for support from others is my Achilles heel.  Like my fiercely independent mother, I’ve never have been good with asking for or accepting help from others.  I know this well and have been working on it knowing it is healthy to do so.  However, with the most recent situation, I’ve taken a huge step backwards.    The reason is my hope I wouldn’t have to ask, that family and true friends would offer without my asking.   While a few have come forward and are wonderfully supportive, keeping in contact and offering help.   Most haven’t, particularly male friends, and its  disappointing, causing me to think “what is the point” of being there, putting myself out for others as I have done. when its not returned.  Yes, it makes me resentful that so-called friends don’t take a moment to think about me and let me know they are. I don’t like feeling this jaded bitterness about people because I am an optimist and want to believe in the best of others.   I also know its important to acknowledge and express my feelings to process them to let the resentment and anger go, to forgive.  As I write these words, I can feel the anger and bitterness start to flow out of me and the forgiveness flow in.  I am not there yet, but I will forgive.  And so I have a modicum of peace, from within.

“Every day may not be good, but there’s something good in every day.” ~Unknown



About tether abundance

abundance tetherer, social advocate, bodacious blogger, jill of all trades, rebel businesswoman, ah-ha coach, caring friend, soul sister, blessed daughter, laughin', learnin' & lovin' along the thrilling roller coaster journey of my life. Personable and perceptive, I'm all about the abundance, the glass half full, I get jazzed about making a difference where I can together with other people. Like everyone, I've lived through the good, the bad and the ugly times, personally and professionally, that are inevitable in life's journey. Along the way, I've been fortunate to learn non-stop, get a BSc.and MBA, and had my fair share of success over 28 years working with a fascinating array of people in a diverse range of industries, sectors and organizations, from single person entrepreneurs to global Fortune 500 companies.
This entry was posted in Asking for support, change, choice, compassion forgiveness, courage, disappointment, grace gratitude, leadership & learning, loss and grieving, love, mind tilt, new thoughts, relationship, saddness, things that make you go 'hmmm'..., wisdom and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

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