Have you ever been in love and suffered or caused another the suffering of a broken heart from love rejected? Probably you have since Helen Fisher’s research shows about 95% of us have been on both sides of love gone bad – the dumper or dumpee. Have you ever wondered why when you are love another person, even after its over and sometimes even more so, they have “set up camp in your head?” Obsessing continually about them, feeling no higher high, “dancing with jubilation,” when its good. Feeling like you are in hell on earth when its bad and ended, taking months, maybe even years, to get over them.
The reason is love is an addiction. The high of being “in love” is same as a “cocaine high.” This is just one of the fascinating and powerful insights Helen Fisher speaks about in The Brain In Love. There is no magic answer to help you change or control your feelings – the greatest high of a love fulfilled or the lowest low suffering of a broken heart. However, learning why feelings of love are so powerful provides understanding and with that insights to how to manage. As humans, love in all its forms and complications, is who we are and intended to experience. To choose to not love so to avoid potential heartbreak is living half a life, which is not living at all.
For me, a calm strength to simply let go, surrender, to ‘what is’. I choose love, to savour the joy and jubilation when it happens and endure the heartbreak with all the love, compassion and patience for myself I would feel for another. Trust and confident my heartbreak is temporary, in time my heart will heal and one day I will feel the dance and joy of loving and being loved again. Amen to living fully, completely, with abandon, embracing all that there is to the human experience including love and heartbreak alike. 🙂 ♥