To see what is in front of one’s nose needs a constant struggle.” – George Orwell
People never cease to amaze me. Rather than looking inside to who or what we know is true, we believe there is some ‘Silver Bullet’ or ‘Magic Answer’ out there – somewhere – just waiting to be found. That somehow, if we keep searching long and hard enough, in new places and with new people, the answer(s) will simply and magically appear.
Ironically, I believe if we have the courage to face the truth, we probably already know the answer or know someone who can help us find it. However, we are just as quick to dismiss these solutions using a myriad of self-rationalizations. Reflecting on this, I wonder what motivates us as human beings to behave this way. What are we pretending not to know?
Pondering this question, I admit that I too will often reject what I know to be true. When I am honest with myself, I know I choose to do so because it serves my purpose. I make this choice, either consciously or unconsciously, as a way to dodge accountability for the results in my life. I can continue to pretend I’m not responsible for what happens to me. I can play the victim and am therefore blameless for the bad things that happen to me. Unfortunately, I am also unable to claim the joy for the good things in my life; my achievements, dreams and brilliance.
That said, the truth is that I am the only one totally responsible for me. And I support myself with my ability and will. Ability is the ‘can do’ part of the equation. Like a car motor, ability represents the capacity to move; having the knowledge and skills to take subsequent required action. Will is the inspirational aspect, analogous to the fuel for a car motor. It is the power, motivation, desire, yearning, longing, aspiration, etc., to do whatever it takes to make our goals and dreams real.
Taking responsibility inevitably requires answering the simple question, “Can and will I do what it takes to step up and realize my life dreams?” It requires effort to not only work hard, but smart. It requires continual vigilance to care-giving rather than care-taking – to set boundaries between my responsibilities and the responsibilities of others. I am not as skilled as I would like at recognizing when I have crossed the boundary. But I know the only way of improving is by setting limits as difficult as it may be. Will I make mistakes? Absolutely! And through them I will learn priceless lessons to build upon, grow, realize dreams and live the life I want.